


The dangers of heels

by BloodthirstyMerc



Series: Batfam bingo [3]
Category: DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bingo Fill, Childhood Trauma, Crossdressing, Dubious Consent, Feminization, First Kiss, Grinding, Guilt, Jason is not okay, M/M, Making Out, Mildly Dubious Consent, Molestation, Oops, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Prompt Fill, Protective Dick Grayson, Rape/Non-con Elements, Tim Drake (Mentioned) - Freeform, Undercover, Undercover Missions, batfam, batfam bingo, dub-con, dubcon, idk what happened to this fic, jaydick, sorta - Freeform, undercover as crossdresser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-17 22:27:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19964230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodthirstyMerc/pseuds/BloodthirstyMerc
Summary: “You’re not jealous are you baby? I won’t leave you out when we get back to my place.” The guy promises and Dick doesn’t want to think about it at all.“He’s just protective of me,” Jason offers. “Always looking out for me, since I was a kid.”{{Prompt fill for my Batfam bingo card}}





	The dangers of heels

**Author's Note:**

> I was commissioned to write two endings to this fic
> 
> [Here is the first ending.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22301011)
> 
> [Here is the second ending.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22316398)

It hadn’t been what Dick was expecting. But then again, everything else that he thought would be happening for this case had been thrown out the window instantly, so why he had any more expectations, he’s not sure. Tim had been the one to come to him with the case, so he’d instantly thought he was going to be working it with him. Especially when the topics of crossdressing came up.

The base layout of the situation was that they were after a suspect of some pretty nasty shit. Some guy’s been luring in crossdressers at this club, flashing around credits cards to get attention before promising a night of mind-blowing ‘fun’. People have been going missing but there’s no solid evidence against the guy since every last sighting of him with these men shows no signs of struggle.

One body has been found, dead in their own home. It looked like a suicide, but no one’s believing it. No DNA in the house, on the victim’s body but signs of sexual assault present. Tim’s been looking into the disappearings for months. No confirmation of any other deaths, but no one wants to wait to find out if someone else will be next. Tim’s pretty certain if this guy isn’t directly involved in the kidnappings and murder, that he’s at the least aiding in it.

Turns out, Tim had tried going undercover for it already, which Dick hadn’t known about. He took Kon for backup, just in case. The guy had no interest in Tim, but he was all over Kon. So, he’s taken profiles of the guy's type, and apparently, Dick should match. And so, does Jason.

Dick was not expecting to go undercover in skimpy women’s clothing, but that’s what it turned out was the job. He most certainly wasn’t expecting Jason to be doing the same, or to have fewer concerns, questions and _disagreements_ toward it.

Jason took whatever Tim handed him, while he had to work out what was going to work with Dick without him ending up losing his own mind. Dick had managed to talk himself into high waisted, leather, short shorts and a cropped, but long-sleeved fake leather shirt. It was uncomfortable when he moved but it was a lot less skin showing than the alternatives. And the boots don’t quite reach his knees and are wedged rather than thin heels. It was still enough, Tim told him that he’ll still catch the guys attention once he’s got makeup and a wig on.

Then there was Jason. And maybe his own outfit wasn’t going to make him lose his mind but knowing that he was going to have to be around Jason all night, probably getting closer than he wants to admit aloud to getting, he’s not sure he’s not going to go crazy. He had no idea that Jason would be… into this.

Jason’s skirt was far too short, Dick’s not even sure that _Kori_ would even be comfortable in something so small around him and he’s had sex with her. Jason’s boots are thigh-high, and he’s almost too good at walking in the heels. Dick suddenly has a lot of questions he’s not sure he wants answers for. And the top… if Dick can even call it that because it looks more like a bra than anything else, somehow fits and sits on Jason’s body so well.

The night takes another turn into the unexpected when it’s Jason who does their make up for them. Without any aid from Tim or even a video or anything and he does it so well too. Dick’s mind is a million miles away with confusion by the time they’re ready and looking in the mirror it’s hard to recognise himself. But his mind is so acutely aware that the heat at his side is Jason.

They’ve gone over the plan so many times by now, and yet Dick can barely piece together what they have to do with how distracted he is. It’s not until they’re on their way to the club, only a few minutes away when Jason turns to him. Dick can feel the weight of his gaze on him and yet he tries to ignore it as he stares out the car window.

“You’re not even going to ask about all this?” Jason asks and Dick wished he hadn’t. Because he wants to, but he didn’t want to be… rude.

“What you do in your spare time doesn’t concern me.” Dick manages, despite the questions looming between them. “It was a surprise, but I’m not going to hold anything against you, Jason.”

“Tim thought I was lying when I said I could do this.” Jason scoffs and it feels like he’s trying to get Dick talking about it, but he’s not sure he wants to before they’ve gotten their job out of the way. He takes in a slow breath and gives Jason the courtesy to look at him.

“You definitely proved him wrong.” And Dick tries to keep his eyes lifted, but they do drift a little down Jason’s body, over all that exposed skin. Jason’s lip turns up in something like pride.

They’re silent for the rest of the cab ride, the only exchange in conversation is Jason paying the driver before they step out. Dick stands on the curb, looking up at the club before them with an uneasy feeling settling in his gut. And he was so glad for the sleeves of his shirt because it was cold out and he’s not sure how Jason isn’t shivering. A few people give them a second glance as they pass by, but Dick tries to ignore it. Jason steps up beside him and his heels give him even more height on Dick even with his own.

“Relax Dickie,”

“I can’t,” Dick huffs out. Not only was this somewhat of a difficult case, but it was dangerous. They didn’t have anything on them since with what they’re wearing, anything would look suspicious and even though they were both trained for this, Dick can’t help but worry.

Jason clicks his tongue and his hand comes to rest on Dick’s back, rubbing against the small bit of bare skin there. Dick’s shoulders tense, but he manages to let out a slow breath. “Yes, you can,”

And then Jason’s pushing him forward and leading him toward the entrance of the club.

\- - -

Jason had found it easier to mingle into the crowd than Dick thought he would. He’s not sure if Jason genuinely likes being here, if he’s just confident in what he’s wearing or if it’s all just for the sake of the mission. But either way, they get separated for a bit, and Dick’s able to locate their suspect. He’s sat in a back booth, has a bunch of guys in outfits somehow more revealing than Jason’s own circling him like hawks. But his attention is elsewhere, and Dick manages to follow his eye and maybe it’s luck that his gaze is locked on Jason.

Dick moves over to him and Jason catches his eye instantly and offers him a somewhat smug smirk. Dick steps into his space, his hand coming to rest on Jason’s hip on impulse. Jason’s skin is hot and Dick fears for a moment that maybe his hands are cold, and he should apologise, but he keeps his mind on their job.

“I think you’ve managed to get his attention,”

“What do you think I’ve been doing all this time while you were doing, I don’t know what?” Jason scoffs and leans more into Dick, resting his own hands against his chest. “Don’t just stand around like that, you look weird.”

And Dick has to move to match Jason’s movements, has to sway his hips to follow the grind of Jason’s hips against his own and it’s far too distracting. His gaze flutters down Jason’s body, taking in the sight of his abs and his v-line is so perfect, like the edges of his jaw and how has he never considered how attractive Jason is until tonight?

“Better, now,” Jason’s voice catches his attention and he snaps his head up to look at him. Jason doesn’t even look smug about it. He’s serious, he’s here to work and Dick needs to get his head out of his ass. “Do we approach him, or do we wait?”

“It’s probably safe to go over to him,” Dick notes, chancing a glance over Jason’s shoulder. “He’s still staring,”

“Good,” Jason murmurs and Dick only just hears him say it because he’s tilting his head and pressing his face into the side of Dick’s neck. Dick’s fingers tighten on Jason’s hips.

“Jay,”

“Will you relax?” Jason scoffs, lips against Dick’s neck, his wig getting in Dick’s face and Dick has no idea what Jason’s doing but he just goes along with it, tilting his head a little like he’s offering.

“I might have our suspects attention, but you’ve had someone’s eye since we got in here.”

“What?” Dick goes to pull back only for Jason to grip him harder, grind into him with more force and a noise gets caught in Dick’s throat as heat pools in his gut.

“God, you’re not great at this undercover shit.” Jason huffs before he pulls back from Dick’s neck, only after trailing his lips up the side of it. It has to be a cover; he’s making sure he hasn’t been made.

“Sorry, I’m just…”

“I get it, but you have to keep your head in the game, Dick. This guy’s been eying you from the other side of the room, and there’s been a little bird bouncing back and forth between them.”

Dick flicks his gaze over to their original suspect, and he’s still staring, and Dick notices the guy standing beside him, almost like a bodyguard. “What do you wanna do?”

“Go with the plan, I have a feeling the eyes on you might be our guy. If he doesn’t show up wherever we do, then he’s just some fucking creepy-ass dude.”

Dick clicks his tongue and pulls back from Jason so he can face him properly. And they’re still grinding against each other. “I’ll act like I only just noticed him, and we’ll go from there.”

“Sounds like a plan, big bird.”

Dick tilts his head, purposely dragging his gaze over the crowd, passing over their suspect before he drags his eyes back and stares for a second. The guy locks eyes with him, his shoulders straighten, and Dick allows a sly smirk. He turns back to Jason and gestures over to the corner he’s in. Jason turns, keeping a face of confusion until he too meets his gaze. Jason’s quick to turn his head back to Dick, letting out a slow breath.

“Showtime,”

Dick gives a small nod of his head and Jason turns on his toes, grabbing Dick’s hand before he leads the way through the crowd. He moves slowly and almost deliberately, like an animal stalking its prey. Dick’s eyes flick back and forth between Jason and their mark, who’s back to staring at Jason intensely. Jason saunters up to him and Dick knows he moves with as much nervousness in his step as he feels. He has no idea how Jason can be so relaxed. With a slight tilt to his head and a slow drag of his feet, Jason stops in front of the man and offers him a smirk.

“Hi there, big boy. We heard there was someone around that’s offering up a great time, that wouldn’t happen to be you, would it?” Dick’s never heard Jason talk like that and he’s trying his hardest to seem as interested and calm as Jason is, but there’s a lot to take in.

The guy looks them over before he slowly gets to his feet. He has a pretty decent build, looks like he might be able to match Jason in size. Dick unintentionally steps closer into Jason’s side.

“I might be, depends if you’re willing to return the favour.” He states as he makes his way around the small table separating them. Jason scoffs.

“I didn’t come all the way over here without having something to offer.” And it sounds like a purr and even though the words aren’t directed at him, Dick finds himself taking in a sharp breath at the way it sounds, at the promise those words hold.

“Then I suppose, I can be your man.” And he steps right into Jason’s space, and Dick knows that Jason _hates_ shit like that so the fact he doesn’t even flinch when this guys hands come to his waist must mean Jason’s using up all his willpower to keep himself in his role. Jason’s painted lips curl up more and his fingers crawl up the guy's chest.

“Must be our lucky night.”

“I’ll show you the time of your life darling. I hope your friend doesn’t mind you ditching.”

Panic coils in Dick’s gut and he stiffens up again as he turns to look at Jason again. Jason’s hand falls away from the guy's chest and he steps out of his grasp. “We’re a packaged deal. You don’t get me without him,”

The guy looks back and forth between them and Dick swallows as he tries to grab Jason’s hand again. Jason turns into him a little and rests his hand against Dick’s back. The silence that follows is more than uneasy. But the guy eventually smiles and moves closer to them. He lifts his hand and Dick nearly flinches away from the touch but manages to stay still, to get the smile on his face to soften as he leans into the touch against his cheek.

“Looks like it really is my lucky night.” He says before he turns to his bodyguard or whatever. He gives him a nod, and just like that, he’s walking off. Dick tries to recognise key features of his face without staring too much. “Shall we?”

“Can’t wait,” And Dick hadn’t even expected himself to say it, but it came out so easily. The guy turns them, stepping between them with his hands resting on their asses as he guides them through the club. Dick glances over to Jason and he gives him a reassuring smile. It doesn’t do much to assure him.

The whole walk to the man’s car is silent and Dick can’t stay out of his own head. All the worst-case scenarios are coming to mind and he’s getting nervous. He’s pretty good at keeping his reactions contained though, so it doesn’t show to people who don’t know him. He’s sure that Jason can tell though.

The man holds the door open for them and it’s almost polite of him. Jason has Dick climb in first, and there’s the thought that that’ll leave Jason closer to the guy and it’s probably the reason he does it. The mans settling into his seat the moment that Dick and Jason are in, but before Jason can try for his seatbelt, the guy is grabbing hold of his thigh.

“Why don’t you sit in my lap, doll?”

Dick closes his eyes and takes in a slow breath to try keeping himself from acting out. Jason smirks at him and he’s too good at working with this, and it makes Dick fear that this isn’t the first time Jason’s done something like this. He crawls into the guy's lap, sitting himself across his thighs. The guys hand easily slips under the back of Jason’s skirt as he looks back to Dick and pats the now empty space beside him.

“Come here, I won’t bite, yet.” He chuckles. Dick meets Jason’s gaze as he shuffles closer and sits in the middle seat. Jason offers him a small smile and Dick really wished that he could feel better, that be could seep some of Jason’s confidence and calm out of him so that he didn’t accidentally blow this for them. The man’s looking back and forth between them as his bodyguard or _whatever_ he is, finally shows up and climbs into the driver’s seat.

“So, how close are you two?” He asks. Dick keeps his gaze on Jason and wets his lips.

“Very,” Jason answers before Dick can try thinking up something. He chews on the inside of his lip, but he can’t help returning Jason’s smile. He knows that the ‘very’ he offered the man doesn’t apply to them, but that it wasn’t totally a lie. They had gotten closer, Dick felt like he had his Little Wing back.

“Maybe you want to give your pretty boy a kiss then? Give me a show.”

Dick swallows but Jason doesn’t hesitate to lean into him, his hands coming to rest on Dick’s chest. And this was what at all what he was expecting from tonight, or at all from Jason. He wasn’t exactly planning on kissing him any time soon. His mouth feels dry as he closes his eyes and meets Jason halfway. And Jason’s lips are so much softer than he thought they would be, and where he thought the taste of cigarettes or hard liquor would be is instead the taste of raspberry.

Dick groans softly and pushes himself more into Jason without even thinking about it. Jason gives back as much as he gets, his lips parting and his tongue swiping through the line of Dick’s lips. And he parts them and Jason’s deepening the kiss instantly.

Dick’s hands grip at Jason’s side and his neck, the weight and warmth of Jason’s hands teasing at sliding under his shirt all too noticeable in Dick’s foggy mind. And then Jason’s shaking, body shuddering as his breath hitches and he shifts forward into Dick’s body more as a weird noise escapes his lips. It’s like a whine and Dick pulls back, frowning.

“Keep going, yeah,” The guy murmurs and Dick’s gaze drops down Jason’s body and he can still see the guys hand under Jason’s skirt and his wrist is rocking back and forth and Jason’s noises-

Jason’s grabbing his face and kissing him against before he can react. Warning signs are flashing in Dick’s head and his brain is screaming at him to put a stop to this, that it was too far, that the job was never worth _this_ , but Jason’s kissing him differently now, softer, slower, his thumbs rubbing slow circles against his skin in an attempt to soothe him. Dick tries to pull back again, but Jason shakes his head and grips him tighter. He’s just… letting it happen.

Dick clutches to Jason desperately and he tries not to think about it, tries to ignore the obvious fact that the guys fucking _fingering Jason_ , but it’s a little hard to push that thought aside. Especially with Jason whimpering and moaning against his lips. And Dick hates that Jason’s little noises are getting to him, that his cock is twitching in his fucking shorts.

“You’re lucky to have this, he opens up so easily,” The guy comments and he sounds breathless. Jason whines and finally pulls back from Dick, squeezing his eyes shut as his hold on Dick tightens. Dick doesn’t know what to do and just stares dumbly at him as Jason pants, hips moving back against the man’s touch and it leaves conflicting feelings coiling in Dick’s gut.

Jason’s eyes flutter open and he meets Dick’s gaze. His pupils are blown, his lips are shiny with spit and he’s panting so much he looks close to drooling. Dick’s chest is tight and it feels like he can’t breathe as he watches Jason squirm.

“Dick,” Jason’s voice is so weak, and he sounds nothing like himself as his mouth falls open again and he can _hear_ the slick sound of the guy roughly fucking his finger, _fingers_ , shit, Dick didn’t know, into Jason’s body.

Jason’s back arches and the noise he makes, something like a whine and a groan mixed together as his body jolts forward and the guy’s fingers slip from Jason’s body. Jason slumps forward, panting and shaking and whimpering pathetically as he holds onto Dick like his life depends on it. Dick clings to him just as desperately, staring at him and anger, frustration and guilt all build in his gut, making him feel sick.

“Don’t want him to come before we get to the good stuff.” The guy laughs and Dick has to fight every muscle in his body not to strangle the guy. Jason lifts his gaze, his hand pressing to the side of Dick’s neck as he slides off the guy's lap, sitting more on Dick now.

Dick swallows and tries to read him, tries to get a look at his face properly, wants to meet his eyes so he can try figuring out if Jason’s okay, but Jason’s dropping his head against Dick’s neck, kissing the skin under his ear. Dick wraps his arms around Jason’s body and clings to him.

“I’m okay,” And Jason’s voice is so low that even with his lips right below his ear, Dick barely hears him. Dick swallows and gives Jason a small squeeze before he kisses the side of Jason’s head. Jason kisses him again, repeating himself before he lifts his head and looks back to the guy. And there are no signs of pain on Jason’s face as he shoots the guy another smirk.

“You’re good with your fingers.” He praises and Dick feels sick. Jason plays it off like it’s _nothing_.

“I’ve been told I’m even better with my mouth.” The guy purrs and Dick actually feels Jason shudder against him. He lifts his gaze to his face again and Jason’s worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Can’t wait,” Jason hums and although maybe what he’s saying is a lie, there’s no way he can fake his body’s reaction. Dick grabs Jason’s chin and tilts his head down so their eyes meet.

“You’re not jealous are you baby? I won’t leave you out when we get back to my place.” The guy promises and Dick doesn’t want to think about it at all.

“He’s just protective of me,” Jason offers. “Always looking out for me, since I was a kid.”

And how real the statement is makes Dick’s chest ache. It’s all he’s wanted to do, was look out for Jason and make sure he’s okay, was to protect him. And he keeps _failing_.

“Is that why he wanted to come along?” The guy asks. Jason shrugs a shoulder and wraps his arms around Dick’s shoulders.

“No, I wanted him to come.”

The man hums and his hand is back on Jason, fingers running over his face. Jason leans into the touch, but the guys pulling back just as quickly as he’s touched him. “You do paint a pretty picture together.”

“Thanks,” Jason murmurs and he hasn’t looked away from Dick yet, like he’s trying to make sure Dick understands that he’s okay.

“He’s shy, though.”

“He’s never done this before.”

“You have?”

“Plenty of times.” And the honesty in Jason’s voice is a reminder to Dick that Jason’s never had it easy, that he’s been through hell, that as a kid he had men much like the guy beside them now all over him. No wonder he’s so unfazed. This is what Jason knows, this is what he’s always known, and it makes Dick’s chest ache.

The car suddenly comes to a stop and Dick snaps out of his stupor. He looks around and he’s not familiar with this part of town so he’s not really sure where they are. The bodyguard gets out and opens up the back door for them. The man climbs out, and while he’s doing so, Jason cups Dick’s cheeks and presses a quick kiss to his lips.

“Honestly, I’m fine. This is almost over, okay? I’m not going to let him touch you.” And he says it so fast and his voice is still so low that Dick feels like there’s a delay in his words reaching his brain and by the time he’s caught up, Jason’s already getting out of the car. Dick’s quick to follow and instantly grabs hold of Jason’s hand the moment that he can. Jason gives his hand a squeeze.

They follow the other two men up toward honestly the kind of setting Dick expected them to end up in. The man’s house is big and isolated, doesn’t compare to the manor but still makes a statement. He looks around a little, trying to spot any kinds of security. Jason’s doing the same thing.

“This is nice,” Dick finds himself saying because the air of silence is suffocating. The man looks over his shoulder to them and smiles.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Nothing else is said as they enter the house. It’s spacious and looks far too clean and shiny like it’s all for show. Maybe it is. Dick tries to make it look like he’s looking around out of awe rather than trying to assess what the situation is. Fear coils in his gut again when they’re lead into a room and there are two other bodyguards in the doorway. They step aside and Dick and Jason are lead into the room. Another four guards are stood at the other end of the room and sat on the couch, arms spread out across the back of the couch, legs open, is the guy that had been watching Dick at the club.

“This isn’t gonna turn into some weird orgy is it?” Jason asks and his voice is still light and easy as he chuckles. “I didn’t exactly bring an abundance of condoms with me.”

Dick wishes he could find anything about this situation amusing. Jason’s ability to laugh this off is only making him feel worse. The man on the couch snorts and tips his head back a little as the man who brought them in turns back to them.

“You brought a friend; only fair I have some of my own.” He offers. Dick chews the inside of his lip and his gaze averts to one of the guards for a second. And that’s when he notices that the guy who’d driven them there seemed to have slipped off. Fear builds up in his body and he tries to discreetly avert his gaze to the side, making like he’s still looking at the guard. The guy’s behind them, now that he focuses, he can feel his presence and Dick presses into Jason’s side more and makes like he’s kissing his shoulder.

“Problem,” He whispers against Jason’s skin and Jason squeezes his hand again, letting Dick know that he’s on the same page.

“One friend isn’t quite the same as a bunch of bodyguards, seems a little unfair.” Jason hums and the act is falling away, Dick can hear it in his voice. Dick lets go of Jason’s hand finally and stands up straight, paying attention to the body behind them.

“Don’t worry, you were promised a good time, right? We’ll give you one.” The man on the couch says and he tilts his head to the side, like a gesture.

A hand closes around Dick’s arm and he notices the guards _move_ and that’s all it takes for the game to be over. He turns in the hold on his arm, instantly breaking free of it without any problem. He twists and throws a punch, hitting the guy square in the jaw. And then the room is erupting in shouts from the guards and the men who brought them here.

Jason moves and Dick tells himself to focus, Jason’s just as equipped to handle this situation as he is, he doesn’t need to worry about him or keep an eye on him either. Two of the guards try to make a grab for him and he’s even more relieved about his heels being wedges now as he ducks out of the way, and kicks a leg out to crack his heel against one of the guards knees. He’s just relieved they don’t seem to be packing weapons.

The number of guards was intimidating when they stepped into the room, but now that he feels more in his element, is able to move how he normally would because he knows how to fight, he’s not as scared as he had been. And if the sounds of pain coming from behind him are anything to go by, he’s sure Jason is having no trouble either.

Dick takes out five of the guards, including the first one who’d grabbed him in no time. They’re not the best fighters, Dick assumes they’re probably not used to people who can fight and move like them. As soon as he’s knocking out the fifth guard, he’s lifting his head just in time to see Jason crash a guards face against the wall, knocking him out instantly. The two men are on the floor, writhing in pain, the guy who met them here trying to crawl away why the guy they came with clutching his wrist, his fingers bent back and very clearly broken. _Good_.

Jason walks up to the second guy and kicks him in the ribs, effectively winding him and forcing him over onto his back as he cries out in pain. Jason steps on his chest, his heel digging into the guy as he rests his weight on it. Dick moves up to his side and keeps his eyes on the other guy as Jason leans over slightly.

“We have some questions, and if I don’t like your answers, my heel is gonna go through your hand, then maybe your throat.” Jason starts and the guy makes a pathetic noise. Still, Dick doesn’t feel satisfied.

\- - -

Almost an hour later and they’ve called Tim and given him their address for him to meet them. They’ve restrained all of the guys with what they could find around the place, turns out there’s a lot of rope around, which maybe shouldn’t be surprising. Once Tim’s sorted them out, they’ll have the cops come around to deal with them properly and they’ll give off the information about the missing crossdressers. Apparently, they’re all still alive, and Dick’s more than relieved. He’ll feel even better once he sees them.

But right now, as they wait for Tim, they’ve stepped outside. Jason had mumbled something about needing a smoke and Dick knows that their captives aren’t going anywhere, so he chose to follow him out. He stands right beside Jason, tension clear in his shoulders and he’s telling himself that taking Jason’s smoke from him and taking a drag is not a smart idea. He’ll regret doing it and he’s trying not to completely lose it. He closes his eyes and tips his head back against the wall, letting out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry.” He starts, sparing a glance over to Jason briefly before he lowers his gaze and stares at his boots.

“What for?” Jason murmurs as he pulls his cigarette from his lips and slowly exhales.

And the silence that follows that is only because thinking about what happened makes Dick feel sick to the stomach all over again.

“It shouldn’t have happened.” He mutters as he plays with his own fingers in front of him. A distraction.

“I’m fine Dick, I’ve been through worse.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.” Dick snaps, and he’s frustrated because Jason’s acting like it was nothing. Jason meets his eye and Dick’s chest clenches, it aches, and he swallows thickly, feeling tears build up in his eyes which makes his throat feel tight. Jason steps up to him, dropping his cigarette to the ground before he rests his hand against Dick’s waist, the other coming up to cup his cheek.

“Hey, c’mon it really is fine, Dick. I’ll be okay.” Jason’s smile is soft but it’s a little sad and it makes it hurt even more. “He was gonna try to do worse to us anyway. And besides… it actually didn’t feel that bad.” And Jason’s lip is curling up in a smirk and Dick hates that he’s making it seem like it was nothing, that this is somehow funny.

“Don’t-” Dick snarls, pushing at Jason’s chest because if he was going to play this off as some kind of joke, he didn’t want to be around him.

“I’m sorry,” And his tone is completely different now, and Dick lowers his gaze. Jason pulls him into his body, wrapping his arms around him and it’s safe, it makes Dick feel a little better as he grips onto him tightly. “But I’m seriously fine. I know it’s not going to make you feel better, but it’s not the first time I’ve been molested for a fucking mission and it won’t be the last.”

Dick squeezes his eyes shut and hugs Jason tighter. He’s right, it doesn’t make him feel any better. “But I have to do it, so that no one else gets hurt, so that we can stop these assholes, so that you or Tim or fucking _Damian_ don’t have to do it just to make sure we get the guy. I’ll take that burden to keep all of you from it.”

Dick’s chest is too tight, he can feel the tears choking him up as he presses his face into Jason’s shoulder. “That’s not your job, Jason.”

“Dick,” Jason pulls him back, holds him at arm’s length and looks him in the eye. “I’d rather it was me than anyone else.”

It should be reassuring to know that Jason was willing to time and time again put himself in a position like that to keep them safe, that he cares, and he loves them that much. But it only makes it hurt more. Dick can’t say that he’d rather it was him, he knows what that kind of shit can do to a person, but Jason’s desensitised by now. And he hates that, but it made understanding Jason’s point easier. That didn’t mean he had to like it.

Sighing, Dick’s hands fall to Jason’s bare waist as he pulls back from his neck and looks him over. And the misery that you’d expect to see on anyone else’s face isn’t there. He looks _fine_ , has taken tonight in his stride as just another mission, just another unfortunate event that took place, but it doesn’t matter, because they got the guy. Dick rests his forehead against Jason’s and just reminds himself to breathe.

“If you… ever decide that you’re not okay, you can come to me Jason, you can talk to me.”

“I know, Dick. Like I said, you’ve always been there for me and I’ve never forgotten that.” Jason assures him. Dick gives a nod and he’s more than glad that despite what they’ve gone through, Jason still trusts him.

Jason pulls back and offers Dick a small smile. And it’s calm, it’s relaxed and Dick won’t forget what happened tonight for weeks, maybe months, but Jason’s smile makes it easier for him to smile back. Jason’s hand comes up to Dick’s face and his thumb brushes over his cheek briefly before he’s dropping his hand to his hips again.

“You look pretty,” Jason says and it almost sounds smug, but Dick can tell it’s genuine. Dick bites into his lip and rolls it between his teeth.

“Thanks.” He mumbles a little awkwardly. He still didn’t feel _great_ in what he was wearing, but at least he knows Jason likes it.

“What, no compliment for me?” And it’s smug now. Dick’s throat clicks when he swallows and he pointedly drags his gaze down Jason’s body, down the expanse of skin showing and his breath comes in shakily.

“You look,” Dick pauses, hesitates with too many words on the tip of his tongue. Jason’s brow quirks in question. “God, you look stunning, gorgeous… _incredible_.” And maybe it’s too much, but it’s honest, it’s the truth.

Jason laughs softly and the sound leaves warmth blooming in Dick’s chest. He ducks his head for a moment, scuffing the toe of his boot against the ground before he’s standing tall again and meeting Dick’s eyes.

“I really liked kissing you. It made it… better, easier.” There’s a little voice in Dick’s head saying that he’s glad. That even though in the face of something so terrible, Jason was able to find something to hold onto, found some kind of safety in Dick.

Dick’s eyes take in Jason’s lips, still coloured from his lipstick, the lip gloss that had been there having been removed mostly. But he still looks perfect. Dick’s hand comes up to Jason’s neck and the younger steps closer to him instantly, ducking his head down as Dick pulls him in. And Jason’s lips are still just as surprisingly soft and the taste of nicotine mixing with that harsh raspberry flavour has Dick melting against Jason’s body.

Jason keeps Dick there until Tim shows up, holding onto his hips and kissing him like he’s trying to fix everything that’s broken in them, everything that’s ever been broken between them. It gives Dick hope that maybe it’ll work, over time they’ll be able to fix _them_.

But right now, all that matters, is Jason. Jason being there, Jason being okay, against him and with him. And Dick’s not sure how long they’re like that, the cold of the night not even bothering him anymore because all he can feel is the warmth of Jason against him. What he does know is that he would stay there for years if it meant Jason was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my Tumblr](http://bloodthirstymerc.tumblr.com/about_merc) to request your own comm ;)


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